


A Bad Blind Date

by AmiMendal



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blind Date, Crack, Discord: Hearts & Cauldrons SSHG Server, Drabble, F/M, Jerome gives us cats, inside joke, so many cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29974551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmiMendal/pseuds/AmiMendal
Summary: Hermione goes on a blind date. Severus saves her.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Original Male Character(s), Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 5
Kudos: 82
Collections: Hearts and Cauldrons Discord Members





	A Bad Blind Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EmiliaVBlake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmiliaVBlake/gifts).



> Inspired by a prompt by ME!! I'm hilarious.
> 
> Not beta'd, mistakes are my own.
> 
> Jerome is based on a Discord bot. That's the inside joke. Don't worry about it, this probably only makes sense if you're in the Discord server lol
> 
> ENJOY ANYWAY

Hermione glanced around the restaurant, searching for her blind date. Careening her neck in all different directions, she spotted a man with salt-and-pepper hair waving at her from across the room.

She felt the nerves rise up her legs and into her arms, settling firmly in her stomach. She offered a smile as she reached their small table. “Hi! Jerome? I’m Hermione.”

“Yes, of course you are! Hello,” he said awkwardly but motioned to the chair across from him.

“I hope you weren’t waiting for me too long. I apologize for my delay-”

“Don’t worry about it at all,” Jerome said easily. “I’m sure you were just nervous about meeting me.”

Hermione gave an easy laugh to agree, but saw the overconfidence in his stature. “Right,” she said simply. 

“Happens all the time,” he added, then snapped his fingers at a passing server. “A water for the lady.”

Hermione’s eyebrows furrowed at his lack of manners but tried to brush it off. “Tell me about your job, Jerome,” she said, leaning forward in attempted interest.

“What? Oh, yes. I’m currently the manager for a shop in Horizont Alley. Would you like to see a picture of a cat?” He reached into his breast pocket and revealed a small photograph of a very grumpy-looking cat.

“Oh, how precious,” she responded with a smile. “In which shop do you work?”

Jerome tucked the photo back into his pocket and waved off her question, “Nothing of great importance, really. I’m really not that interested in my job at all.” His hands disappeared into his other pocket. “Cat?” he offered.

“Er… sure.” Jerome showed her another picture, this time of a kitten stretched out on a windowsill. “Oh, that’s so precious-”

“And here’s another,” he said, pulling out one with a yawning cat.

“That’s very… nice,” Hermione said, confused.

“Yes,” Jerome nodded his head excitedly, “They are all cats.”

“Yes,” she agreed slowly, “They are cats.” Hermione’s brows furrowed again just as the server set down a glass of ice water. “Thank you,” she said with a weak smile. Jerome snapped his fingers, though Hermione couldn’t understand why when the server was already next to them.

“A cobb salad for my date. No onions.”

“Onions do not come on the cobb-”

“I will have the Shepherd’s Pie with- Hm, what’s your House red?” Hermione watched her date’s interaction with the server and her trepidation grew. He made her uncomfortable to begin with, then he got weird, and then he was outright rude! Hermione wasn’t sure how she was going to escape this one so early in the evening.

The server gave a courteous bow and walked away, Hermione watching them and wishing she could leave the table, too.

“I have more photos,” Jerome said, offering a small stack of photographs and flipping through them for her. Hermione’s shoulders sagged but she reached for his offering. “No!” Jerome shouted, “No touching. Only looking,” he said with a crazed look in his eye.

“Oh, I’m er, I’m sorry.”

“Look, this one has its tongue sticking out.”

“Yes, they’re very cute.”

“Here, did you see this one?  _ Baaaabyyyyy _ ,” he drawled.

Hermione felt a presence at her shoulder and she turned to face- “Professor Snape?”

“It is just Mister Snape, now,” he said curtly. He offered a small bow and offered his hand to her. “There is an urgent Floo call for you, Miss Granger.”

“Oh?” The confusion was evident on her face but she accepted his proffered hand. “I wasn’t expecting-”

“You can take the call in my office,” Snape said, leading her towards a red door at their left. “Excuse us, Mister…”

Jerome was still flipping through his own stack of cat photographs and cooing at them, sometimes stroking the paper fur and making clicking noises.

“Right,” Severus said before leading Hermione away.

“I’m so sorry to have bothered you Prof- Oh, Mister Snape. What’s the emergency?”

“That your date is a blithering dunderhead. I thought it best to offer you an escape before he asked you to give him your own litter of kittens.”

Hermione couldn’t help the snort that escaped her. “Thank you. Is it- I mean, do you work here?” They stepped into his office and Severus closed the door firmly behind them.

“This establishment is my own. I invested in the original owners nearly twenty years ago and it allowed them to not only grow, but flourish. I come in every fortnight or so; balance the books, double-check their inventory, office work mostly.”

Hermione nodded with interest and Severus continued detailing what he had been up to since he left St. Mungo’s and was cleared in his trial. She reciprocated, explaining what path her own career had led her down and what she hoped the future had in store for her.

When the clock chimed the hour, they were both startled to see that nearly twenty minutes had passed. Severus cleared his throat. “Your chariot awaits, Miss Granger,” he said stiffly, offering her the pot of Floo powder.

“Thank you again, Prof- Mister Snape.”

The two stared at each other awkwardly for a moment before they both opened their mouths and asked, “Would you like to grab dinner sometime?” “Care to grab coffee this week?”

Oh,” a pair of grins lit up the small room.

“I would like that very much,” Hermione said. “Dinner, that is.”

Severus nodded. “Does Wednesday work for you? Seven o’clock?”

Hermione grinned. “It’s a date.”


End file.
